Thanks/No Thanks

A few months ago Stephen King, a contributing writer to Entertainment Weekly, wrote a column where he gave thanks for things he was thankful for and gave no thanks to those things for which he was not grateful. I thought it was a great approach and so, mostly because right now I have no original ideas of my own, I have decided to swipe his. So here we go!

Thanks: Hiram Ring. Your new album Breathe Deep is indeed a breath of fresh air. In a time when other people seem to be knocking themselves over trying to be the next pop star, you’ve decided to roll up your sleeves, dip into the jazzy genre that serves your voice and phrasing so well, and throw everyone for a loop by instead concentrating on making music that’s good. Great idea. (Available on iTunes)

No Thanks: To the “25 Random Thing About Me”  and “Memories” questionnaires that are floating around Facebook. What am I, hanging out on MySpace again?

Thanks: To the gang over at Lost. You’ve managed to throw just enough questions and curves at me in the new season to keep me guessing, but not so many that it’s annoying me. And also, no cages. Season 5 is rocking my face off. But if my nose starts bleeding, then I’m going to freak out.

No Thanks: To people who “tag” me in notes that I’m not actually in. It’s the sleazy salesman and his old Bait & Switch gag. “Hey, I wrote something about you….Well not really, I just wanted you to read this.” When I post this blog, I’ll be tagging Hiram and Fred because I actually wrote about them in it. Funny how that works, huh? If you think about it, it almost makes sense.

Thanks: To Fred McNaughton. Seriously, does anyone have a boss this cool? If so, I’d like to meet them so I can point out to you why they actually aren’t as cool as Fred.

Thanks: To everyone at Willow Street Mennonite Church. I was going to start naming names, but I knew I’d leave someone out, so I won’t. So I’ll just say, it’s awesome to be connected to a church where they’re striving to be what the church was meant to be and shattering your preconceived notion of what the church is by doing so.

No Thanks: To haters of the current Saturday Night Live. I understand it’s not the same as when you were a kid. But different doesn’t mean worse. It just means different. Let’s be honest: If you started watching in the 70s, you prefer the original cast. I grew up in the 80s and I have a warm spot in my heart for the Hartman/Lovitz/Carvey/Hooks lineup. Those who came after me prefer the Will Ferrell/Cheri Oteri years. Can’t we all just confess we’re partial to the SNL we grew up with and no other cast will ever compare? OK, cool. That’s out of the way. Because SNL is still funny. It’s just a different funny from before.

No Thanks: Katy Perry. You live in a city with an insane amount of traffic. Surely there’s a truck somewhere nearby you can step in front of.

Thanks: Tony Horton. You have an infomercial and therefore you kinda set yourself up to get poked at. Turns out, though, P90X actually is a good exercise product that is worth the ridicule from your friends who see the DVDs on your movie shelf. If they saw what those workouts actually consisted of, they’d be too impressed to snicker…and jealous they couldn’t make it through an hour of plyometrics without their head exploding.

No Thanks: Cold and ice. Yeah. I’m done with you.

Thanks: To the cast of the touring production of Avenue Q. I’ve had the soundtrack memorized for a few years now, but you managed to bring new life – and laughs – to what I thought I knew.

No Thanks: Pennsylvania gas company. How expensive is natural gas here? So expensive, that in the fall they sent out letters to everyone that basically said, “We know we charge you wayyyyy to much to heat your home, so we’re offering a program to loan you money to pay your bill this winter.” Which basically means they know they suck.

Thanks: To you for reading all of this. Hopefully, the fact that you stuck with me this long means you got a laugh or two out of it. Either that, or you’re trying to find the “Comments” section so you can post your angry thoughts in an obscene rant that I’ll just end up deleting anyhow. Either way, welcome to the end of this post.

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4 comments

  1. I’m glad you wrote a Stephen King inspired blog…I think I’ll do the same. And yeah, I totally agree with you on these:

    No Thanks: To the “25 Random Thing About Me” and “Memories” questionnaires that are floating around Facebook.

    Thanks: To the gang over at Lost.

    No Thanks: To people who “tag” me in notes that I’m not actually in.

  2. I love this… and it actually crossed my mind to do my own and post it on facebook… hahaha. I won’t, but if i I did I promise only to tag you if you are in it.

    I admit to liking the 25 things. A lot. I look for them on people’s pages.

    And yes… Fred is the coolest, Lost kicks my butt all over the place, more-so when I watch it with the gang, though.

    And, i need to get Hiram’s cd. Big fan…in fact I’m wearing the tshirt…seriously.

  3. p90x is just awesome…I love it!

    and funny that I am just now reading this and have for once done those notes and tagged you in it! Too funny!

  4. So overlooking the fact that I am guilty of a few of the “no thanks,” i thought you would like to know I am alone in my hotel and I actually laughed out loud at the Katy (Hudson) Perry comment

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