Ed: Porn Star?

When I first discovered the wonder of Craig’s List, I was living in Nashville. After that, it was Chicago and then New York City. Because they were pretty big cities, I was used to seeing ridiculous postings. But now that I live in Lancaster, PA (Weird Al’s very own Amish Paradise), the postings are fewer, and the ri-DONK-ulous ones tend to stand out. Like this one:

looking for volunteer porn acters (located in philly)

LOOKING FOR PEOPLE WHO IS WILLING TO VOLUNTEER UNTIL BUSINESS TAKES OFF.

THERE WILL BE A PORN WEB SITE YOU PICTURES AND VIDEOS WILL GO ON, ALSO THIS A THEME PORN SITE SO YOUR FACE WILL NEVER SHOW. TATOOS CAN BE EDITED OF PHOTOS SO GIVE A CALL OR SEND A EMAIL IF INTERESTED. SERIOUS PEOPLE ONLY. mostly female
in reply note yourself as male or female

Wow. I honestly don’t know where to start with this one. I guess I should start off by saying it sounds totally legit. Not at all fishy.

Let’s break it down, shall we?

looking for volunteer porn acters (located in philly)

Also looking for someone who knows how to spell tricky words like “actors.”

LOOKING FOR PEOPLE WHO IS WILLING TO VOLUNTEER UNTIL BUSINESS TAKES OFF.
Wait….to volunteer? And you’re waiting for what business to take off? Your promising leap into the porn industry where you is confused by tenses? Or your paper route? I’m confused.

THERE WILL BE A PORN WEB SITE YOU PICTURES AND VIDEOS WILL GO ON, ALSO THIS A THEME PORN SITE SO YOUR FACE WILL NEVER SHOW.
Look, if I’m going to rock the house with my awesome porn skillz, I’m definitely going to need to show my face so I can get the credit. I’m not some anonymous super hero here. I need my credits, dude. Also, since it’s a theme site, can the theme be DESPERATE LONELY GUYS IN PHILLY?

TATOOS CAN BE EDITED OF PHOTOS SO GIVE A CALL OR SEND A EMAIL IF INTERESTED.
Am I seriously supposed to believe you can edit out tattoos when you can’t even grasp spelling the word? I know, I know, it is a tricky word. And apparently, so is “off.”

SERIOUS PEOPLE ONLY
Oops. I guess I missed that part.

in reply note yourself as male or female
That way I don’t mistakenly reply to a dude. Or not. Whatever. It’s the weekend.

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5 comments

  1. volunteer porn actors? is that like porn for charity? Wonder what color the ribbon would be (or would they use some type of lace lance armstrong bracelet that glows in the dark?)

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