Finger Lickin’ Secretive

Saw this come down the news-wire yesterday:

For the first time in 68 years, the Colonel’s secret recipe is being moved from its safe at Kentucky Fried Chicken’s Louisville headquarters. They are actually using a high security motorcade to transport the recipe of eleven herbs and spices to an undisclosed location. Colonel Sander’s hand-written recipe is being moved temporarily to allow upgrades in the security around the safe that protects it. KFC says only two of its executives know the secret recipe.  A third executive knows the combination to the safe where the recipe’s kept. And less than a handful of KFC employees know the identities of the three executives, who, by the way, are not allowed to travel in the same vehicle.


I hate to burst anyone’s bubble, but just thought I should let KFC know they can loosen security just a little bit. That’s right, guys. Unclench.

To be honest…and I know it’s hard to hear it…the chicken’s not that good. I mean…I’ve had just-as-good from a box in the grocery store. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate KFC, but seriously the chicken isn’t motorcade-worthy, nor is it CIA-level tasty. “Finger-lickin'” good is even stretching it, actually. 

But at least now we have the plot for National Treasure 3: Book of Secrets No One Is Really That Interested In Stealing.



  1. I agree with you! So, again I ask: why in the world did you cover this in 2 out of 3 of your news casts yesterday while also disregarding my enthusiastic request for the earth-shattering and first-of-its-kind study done on the Lancaster, PA Amish that proved once and for all that fat genes can be overcome with merely incorporating 3-4 hours of physical activity a day into your day?!

  2. Would it surprise you to know in the 80’s I actually went on a tour of the KFC museum and corporate offices. A little insider info on KFC, most people over 40 will tell you that the chicken hasn’t tasted the same since the old man died. Back then he did in fact fill it with “an addictive chemical that makes you crave it forthnightly…the colonel with his wee beedy eyes oh, you’re gonna eat my chicken!”

    If any recipe for chicken needs to be protected its chik-fil-a…on second though they should make it public, so McDonald’s & Arby’s can stop making those pickle drenched nightmares, they’ve been pawning on us for that last year!

  3. kind of a segue here but you know I’m from the Milwaukee area (SE Wisconsin) and we have a story here about an older women–actually she’s Oprah’s Mom–and she is being sued by a clothing store for 150,000 worth of clothing she has not paid for. So doesn’t this seem like a good story to be sent to the national media? I mean I found it somewhat newsworthy yet I haven’t seen it reported anywhere— Maybe you Ed are just the guy to sniff more of this out—or maybe not—just a thought from Tom’s wacky mind—have a good one—

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