Feelin’ a Bit R-Andy

A friend of mine just sent me this article:

Comedian Andy Dick arrested on drug, sexual battery charges in Murrieta

A 17-year-old girl tells police that Andy Dick pulled down her tank top, exposing her breasts. Police say he was ‘extremely intoxicated’ and had marijuana and Xanax medication in his pockets.

It goes on from there, but those are the basics. And…as always…I have some questions/comments:

1. What the FREAK is up with that mugshot? He looks like a Muppet auditioning for a role in A Clockwork Orange. Oh well. At least he looks happy.

2. So he was carrying pot and Xanax in his pockets. Am I the only one shocked at this? Not shocked that they found drugs on him, but that they didn’t find coke, heroin, LSD, pop rocks, rabbit tranquilizers, recycled amphetamines, extra-strength Tylenol, fish oil omega-3, and/or Red Bull.

3. How did the girl even let this happen? Andy Dick is the size of a garden gnome.

4. Andy Dick being caught exposing a girl makes about as much sense to me as Richard Simmons having Jessica Simpson as his desktop wallpaper.

5. Never mind. I just figured out what was up with that photograph. I think someone at the LA Times was asleep at the wheel and accidentally put up their stock photo of Kathy Griffin. Ha ha ha ha ha ha, just kidding. Kathy Griffin is wayyyy more masculine.

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