How to tell Ed is sick (A test)

Am I loopy from NyQuil? _X_Yes ____No

Do I smell like Vap-O-Rub? _X_Yes ____No

Is my apartment littered with wadded-up Kleenex? _X_Yes ____No

Do I need a shave? _X_Yes ____No

Is my hair funked up? _X_Yes ____No

Am I irritable? _X_Yes ____No

Have I coughed up enough phlegm to fill a coffee can? _X_Yes ____No

If I answered “Yes” to all 7 questions, I am sick. Go to bed.
If I answered “Yes” to 5-6 questions, I am probably sick. Drink hot tea.
If I answered “Yes” to 2-4 questions, I am probably just tired. Go to bed.
If I answered “Yes” to 1 question, I probably swallowed dust.

Judging by my test results, I should probably go to bed. ‘Night.

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