Yuppies Can’t Wait

Today I went to the library to return the last of the books/DVDs I borrowed. As usual, there was a small line to return things, but it usually moves fairly fast and I wasn’t there more than 5 minutes. As I was leaving I saw this guy get in line, shake his head, and then head for the exit.

He was your basic snooty-looking yuppie type (think James Spader in any movie from the 80s). You have to go through security on your way out of the library to ensure you’re not stealing books. You give them the books you checked out, they check your receipt, look in your backpack, and that’s it.

This guy started to walk through the detector things and then held up a plastic bag and said, “I have CDs.”

“Did you get them from here?” the guard asked.

“Well,” said Yuppie, “I was going to return them, but I’m not going to wait in that line.”

“Do you have your receipts with you that you check them out?”

The yuppie got really mad and took his You-Don’t-Know-Who-You’re-Dealing-With stance. “No.”

“Then you’ll have to return the books. I can’t let you leave with them without a receipt.”

“I’m not waiting in line.”

“Sir, you need your receipt, otherwise anyone could give me a story and just walk out with anything.”

The Yuppie now took his How-Dare-You-Suggest-I-Wait-In-Line pose and said the most awesome line ever:

“This is preposterous.”

What made it awesome was the fact that he didn’t say it loudly or like he was upset. There was no exclamation point at the end of his sentence. He said it softly like he was giving someone the time or asking for a slice of cheese.

“This is preposterous. You know, but not preposterous enough for me to do anything about it.”

The Yuppie was then made to go back into the library and return his CDs. Two points for the good guys.

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