As Sent From A Phone
Posted: April 12, 2011 Filed under: friends, humor | Tags: facebook, funny, status update Leave a comment »Saw this on Facebook today, and it struck me as funny.
In related news, I don’t have a vehicle so I won’t be able to hang out tomorrow because I’m driving to the lake in my car.
“Funny” Trailer
Posted: May 14, 2010 Filed under: friends, humor | Tags: documentary, ed placencia, funny, jt arbogast, movie, trailer Leave a comment »A sneak peek behind the scenes of the new documentary from Can You Pictures, Funny, featuring J.T. Arbogast.
Prove It
Posted: May 10, 2008 Filed under: humor | Tags: comedian, comedy, doctor, funny, proof 1 Comment »It’s weird when people ask what I do and I tell them I do comedy. I think it’s the only profession you can have that actually requires proof from other people.
“You’re a comedian? Say something funny.”
I highly doubt they do this with everyone they meet.
“So, you’re a doctor, huh? Take out my appendix.”
No fair.
I’ll get you, Jim Gaffigan
Posted: February 6, 2008 Filed under: humor | Tags: bit, comedy, funny, jim gaffigan, material, stand up 2 Comments »About two and a half years ago I wrote a blog about a funny idea I had for my stand-up comedy. I refused to mention what it was about lest one of you online freaks steal my idea.
Well, it happened. I squandered it and sat on it and did nothing with it and wouldn’t you know it, someone else came up with the idea and put it on their last CD and did it well.
Granted, he didn’t do it exactly how I had it in mind — we both go in different directions — but they start off similarly enough that people will probably now think I’m stealing from Jim Gaffigan. I’m not. And I didn’t.
But doggonit anyhow. Oh well. That’s what I get for hiding it under a bushel.
Finding “Lost”
Posted: January 5, 2008 Filed under: friends, humor | Tags: cover, cute, entertainment weekly, funny, lost, marriage, sarah, suspense, television, TV 3 Comments »Sarah and I have been watching the third season of “Lost” on DVD. I’ve seen it already; she hasn’t. It’s been fun watching her react to all of the twists and turns and remembering how I reacted to each revelation as it unfolded. (Unfortunately, she read the recent issue of Entertainment Weekly which featured “Lost” on the cover and, in the first 2 paragraphs, found out some surprises she didn’t yet know about. Whoops.)
The best thing about watching Sarah watch “Lost” is the vast array of comments — many times very contradictory — she yells at the TV. Observe:
“Save him!”
“Kill him!”
“Aw…”
“What a b!”
“Go, Jin! Awesome kick!”
“Come on! You kill people for a living!”
“This show makes my head hurt.”
“I’m too tense. I need to stop.”
“Wanna watch another one?”
“He’s going to die in this one, isn’t he?”
“I always wanted to kick like that.”
“I don’t get why they don’t just get along with each other.”
“Kill him!!!!!!”
Old People: Not Funny
Posted: June 5, 2007 Filed under: humor | Tags: comedy, funny, humor, old people Leave a comment »The last couple of days I have been doing work for people who are older than me. By older than me, I mean in their 60s. Siding houses, wallpapering, what-have-you. And in both cases they have annoyed me with their attempts at being funny. What makes it worse is that they both have the exact same material.
Here’s the basic premise: They will hover over me and watch me work and then make comments like “Gee, you sure are working slowly” or “Where did your dad get such horrible help” or “Just because it’s 5:00 doesn’t mean you can go home. You young people don’t know what it is to work.”
I know they’re just trying to be funny, but the thing is, they’re failing at it. Instead of using delivery that is light and friendly, they say it in their I-Can-Say-Whatever-I-Really-Feel-If-I-Pretend-I’m-Joking voice. And after 2-1/2 weeks of hearing it over and over and over again it has gone from “not funny” to “really not funny” to “slightly annoying” to “ready to walk off the job at any moment.”
If you know me, then you know I like to joke around. That’s not what I have a problem with. I just hate it when I’m out in the sun working and they’re standing behind me, beer in hand, and making smart-aleck comments to someone they don’t even know.
Maybe it’s because Dad told them I’m into comedy and they’re just trying to be funny. Maybe that’s how everyone joked in the ’50s. But you’re paying me to work on your house, not be funny, and for you my funny isn’t free.
Quote of the Day (Courtesy of Ray)
Posted: May 29, 2007 Filed under: humor | Tags: comedy, funny, humor, quote of the day Leave a comment »Today at work Ray got frustrated with his tape measure. He said, “This stupid thing. I’m going to burn it.”
Ray then paused, thought for a second, and muttered to himself, “Will this burn?”
Only At Christmastime
Posted: December 25, 2006 Filed under: friends, humor | Tags: christmas, family, funny, humor Leave a comment »Last night at the annual Placencia Christmas Eve gathering I was sitting on the couch with my cousins Glen and Rich. One of my little cousins, around 2 years old, entered dressed in her holiday best.
Another cousin began to gush, saying “Oh, you always look so beautiful at Christmastime!” to which Glen promptly quipped, “Nice. So what are you saying about the rest of the year?”
“Well,” I added, “Everyone knows in June she looks like hell.”
Merry Christmas to everyone who only looks good during this festive time.
The Great Funniest Sneeze-Off Of ’06
Posted: December 17, 2006 Filed under: humor | Tags: babysit, funny, niece, sneeze Leave a comment »Last night my brother Ray and his wife Piper had a “date night” to celebrate Ray’s birthday. I got to spend some time babysitting their daughter Valencia and, as always, we had fun.
On the way back from the movies (Charlotte’s Web…it was OK for what it was. I’ve never seen the “classic” cartoon and I’ve never read the book, so it wasn’t something I probably would ever have seen otherwise) we were riding in the car and I sneezed. About a minute later, Valencia sneezed. After a few moments, she sneezed again but the second sneeze was blatantly obvious and I called her on it (“You faker! That sneeze wasn’t real! What a fakey-fakerton“).
After some short ribbing about her fake sneeze, I declared we were going to have a contest to see who could do the funniest sneeze. It eventually got to the point where my sneezes were so outrageous I was screaming at the top of my lungs, honking the horn, and opening the sun roof. It was fun to make Valencia laugh so hard she was out of breath.
So yeah. I so won that. Not even close.
Buzz! Smack! And when it’s funny
Posted: July 9, 2006 Filed under: humor | Tags: attack, funny, power saw, punch, subway Leave a comment »Sometimes things happen that are, for lack of a better word, tragic. But for some reason the media will at times present them to me in a way that comes off as humorous.
Case in point:
I was reading the local newspaper yesterday and there was a story about some maniac running around in the New York City subway system. Seems he was carrying a cordless power saw with him, and for no particular reason, decided to slice up some guy’s chest. Don’t worry. The guy is OK. Shaken, of course, but the injury wasn’t fatal.
They went on to interview the victim (“He didn’t say anything! I think he was crazy!”) and also obtain comments from witnesses (“He had a crazy look in his eyes!”). It went on to say the victim was OK and the attacker was in custody.
And then, the last sentence of the story is what killed me. After reading about this horrific incident, the writer of the story decided to wrap it all up with this classic line:
In an unrelated incident, earlier in the day the attacker punched a different man in the face.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
