Meet & Greet, 11/30/2011

Today’s post-show Meet & Greet was especially productive. And by productive, I mean a lot of people said some really inappropriate things to me. In the show, I play a Jewish guy who is dating a Gentile. Her Southern conservative parents don’t know we’re dating…or that we live together…or that I’m Jewish, and hence hilarity ensues.

So, of course, after the show as we were shaking hands in the lobby an old woman came up to me and whispered, “A friend of mine has a daughter who’s dating….a Jew!” Please note that the phrase “a Jew” was dripping with disgust, as if she was saying someone fed her a glass of Metamucil with poop in it!

I also got a few “Not bad for a Jew” comments which are becoming surprisingly – and unsettlingly – common. I responded to one old man, “I’m not sure how to take that,” and he just laughed and laughed.

Of course, I also get my fair share of Jewish people who come through the line and make it a point to let me know that they know I’m not Jewish. One lady, who sounded exactly like Mike Myers’s Linda Richman character, said to me in all of her New Yawk accent, “You don’t sound Jewish to me.”

This isn’t the first time I’ve heard that comment and I always find it intriguing since none of my Jewish friends sound like the stereotype I can only assume she was talking about (and sounded like herself) and the only people who tell me I don’t sound Jewish are people who tawk like this, as they tawk about cawfee and dawgs and dawtahs.

Finally, a woman came through the line and asked if I was Italian. I told her I wasn’t, and she got a look on her face like I just punched her in the spleen. I don’t know if she was offended, disappointed, or just surprised that her profiling-by-looks had failed her.

Either way, it was a blogworthy day.

Meet & Greet, 11/29/2011

During today’s Meet & Greet after the show (in which I portray a Jewish guy), a man came up to me and asked, “Are you really Jewish?”

“No, I’m not,” I answered, to which he immediately responded,

“Ah, you’re a real American!”

Huh? What?

What the flip, old people?

Now All I Need Is A VCR

As their Black Friday sale continues, Amazon tried to be sneaky and unload THIS bargain on us this morning.

What? Only 10% of them have been claimed? That’s crazy!

Of course, I don’t now if I’m more amazed by the fact that they still make and sell VHS tapes or that Marty McFly is here from 1985 and getting a bargain on some “Standard Grade” Maxells.

Meet & Greet, 11/17/2011

During today’s Meet & Greet, I got two awesome comments.

The first came from an old guy who exclaimed as he shook my hand, “Aw, you Jewboy!”

The second compliment came from an older gentleman who gave me a knowing wink, as if he were in on a big secret. “Not bad for an Italian!” he smiled.

Never in my life have I heard so many borderline (and not so borderline) racial slurs directed at me that had nothing to do with my actual ethnicity.

I think this is gonna be fun.

Meet & Greet, 11/16/2011

I am currently in a show out at a local theater and it’s a cute little comedy about a girl living in NYC whose Southern Baptist parents drop in for a surprise Christmas vacation. What her parents don’t know is that not only is she living with a guy (yours truly), but the guy she is with happens to be Jewish (gasp!). Of course, as the lies and the sneaking around pile up, more and more shenanigans ensue.

After the matinee performances, the cast assembles in the lobby to shake hands with the audience and thank them for coming. I’ve gotten some very, very nice comments from the people who came to see the show but what I would like to share here are the comments that I found straight-up confusing.

Like this one:

Today an old man ran up to me and said, “Aw, you Jew!”

I wasn’t sure what that meant, but as soon as he said it I knew I would be sharing it with you.